Writing Yourself

I'm at a weird point in my writing career. No, I don't mean the point where I use the word "career" facetiously. Though I suppose I'm probably at that point too. I mean I'm at the point where the character I'm writing is essentially myself. I don't know how to handle writing myself. Do I entirely reinvent myself so I'm unrecognizable to me and anyone who knows me, or do I draw from myself as much as possible and fill in where I need to? If I write this character as me, am I going to try to protect him (me) too much to make a worthwhile story? And worst of all, am I going to realize something about myself that I might not want to know?

Here's the pitch for my story. If you think it sucks, I want you to tell me, but I might go ahead and write it anyway.

Two small-town filmmakers, in order to escape their mundane day jobs, rebel against the Hollywood system and make a feature-length movie in their own Indiana backyards.

The thing that makes it so personal is that it couldn't be any truer of a story about me and my producing partner because that's where we are. We're working jobs to pay the bills, but we know there's more out there for us. I'm writing this story in hopes that we can actually produce it in our own backyards in Indiana. Maybe the true-to-life aspects are clever or maybe I'm just kidding myself. Either way, that's not what I'm concerned with right now.

I'm worried that my story will be too idealistic. That my characters will be too good and not flawed enough. That things will be too easy for them. That they'll get everything they want and nothing they don't.

I'm also worried that if I keep doing my sentence fragments and questions in sets of three that people will never come back to my blog, but that's for another time. I just can't seem to stop that one.

I know I need to give these characters hell, but it's me. I have to put myself through the fire. And if the story calls for it, I have to write myself failing.

That's a lot to deal with at twenty-three years old.