It's time to get back to my roots. If this were a 90s movie, potentially starring Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Chevy Chase, I'd request that "Return to Innocence" begin playing right about now, because we're going back to the time before the fall. Before I went off on tangents. Before I doubted the necessity of this blog. Before I doubted myself. We're getting back to writing.
Of course, we'll wander off track again. I usually have more on my mind than just pen and paper, so we'll find other paths to take, but for now, it's going to be about doing our work.
And here's what I've come up with today - if you're not creating, you're destroying yourself.
Slowly. Gently. Without a struggle.
But you're dying nonetheless.
I've spent a good deal of my life being a writer who doesn't write. Don't ask me how that makes sense, but for the past few years, I'd tell people I was a writer, even if I hadn't written in weeks or months. I always knew I'd get around to it eventually.
What a great way to live. I'd get around to who I knew I was supposed to be eventually. I'd do other things, sure, anything but that, really, but I'd get to myself eventually.
Let me telling you something though. Not once have I seen a clock read "half past eventually." I've never checked a calendar and read that it's finally "April Eventually." Now never becomes later.
And so, with each close of a door, with each silent refusal to sit down and do what we know we should, the voice calling us to that action gets a little quieter. TV drowns it out. Your friends can shut it up for a while. Don't worry, with enough practice, you can absolutely stop hearing it at all.
But 40 years from now, you'll wonder where it all went wrong. You'll remember the kid who wanted to be an astronaut. A basketball player. A fireman. A kid who wanted to be anything but what you are.
When did it all go wrong? Right now. Every time you deny that part of you that begs to create or make or do something. Anything. I don't know what yours is. I just know that you have to start doing it before it finds someone else who's willing.
You have that thing, don't you? That thing that makes you feel alive. It makes you feel at home. It makes you feel. That's your thing. Now do it.
I guess, in that way, it's time we all get back to our roots.