With A Sheepish Grin

I don't know if any of you are still even paying attention to the schedule this blog is on, but I missed it by about an hour and a half today. You'd think I'd be set in my schedule by this point. But it brings up an interesting topic. Why, after three years, am I not comfortable with the blogging I'm doing? I still feel myself struggling for a topic most days. How have I not gotten used to what I do here?

I was talking to my friend Jason about it the other day. It feels a little narcissistic, to be writing about writing the way I do. I've had almost negative success with my writing at this point. The best I can say is that my friends think I'm a good writer. But I show up here twice weekly talking about things like I've got anything all figured out.

I don't. Let's just make that clear. I write here to make you like me, hopefully, if I'm being really honest. But I also write here to try to figure stuff out. When I start a post, I have a tiny itch of an idea and I hope that if I scratch it enough, something will become clearer to me. And if it's clearer to me, I hope it's useful for you. And that's a lot to ask of 300 words or so twice a week, but it's what I'm looking for. Meaning, I guess you could call it.

I use my blog to search for meaning. To find what means something to me and to hopefully make it mean something to you.

And to learn how to get work done on time. That one too.