I have a few months perspective now. I can look back on my script with a fresh eye and see it for what it really is. I can approach it from the outside and finally see what works and what doesn't. And I'm thinking it might be a bit of a self-indulgent mess. I think that comes with writing about yourself. You're going to put in too many personal details and so much of it is only going to make sense to you and when you show people and they don't get it, you won't really understand why.
It's because I wrote these last few drafts for me. They were all about what I could do and how funny I could be and how many little references I could include for myself. It was personal, but not in the universal way. The whole script seems like a big inside joke.
That's what I'm going to need to fix in the upcoming draft. Looming might be a better word than upcoming though. It's hanging over my head and I'm trying to pretend it isn't there, but it just is. I shouldn't put it off any longer.
I will though. Just for a little while. I'll write my short scripts when I think of them and all the other times, I'll fill my writing schedule with blog posts. It feels so lazy, but I can't dive into a script with the schedule I have right now.
There's such thing as mental exhaustion each day. You make so many decisions or go through so many stresses and your mind won't want to function anymore. Unfortunately, that's how I tend to come home from work. Ready to just not think for a while.
I know that's awful. If I were a real writer, I probably wouldn't have this problem. I could work all day, write all night, and then do it again in the morning. So maybe I'm not a real writer. I have a calendar full of projects that suggests otherwise, but I'm willing to accept a hard truth if that's it.
But if I weren't a real writer, I don't think I'd even care about this at all.