The Insipid Metaphors

"Well Shirley, since you have clearly failed to grasp the central insipid metaphor of those Twilight books you devour, let me explain it to you! Men are monsters who crave young flesh!" Community makes a good point right there. A lot of young women love those books and they say it's because it's a dangerous love story or because Edward is so dreamy or because who else is going to call you "spider-monkey" and make it sound so sexy (I've seen the first movie, okay? Sue me.), but that's not at all the story those books seem to actually tell. The story is about a girl who only desires monsters. The best men she can find in her life are literal textbook monsters. Creatures that terrified a few generations ago, even if they only were in the collective imagination.

I don't like what that says about the modern female.

Let's pretend for a second that the story isn't intended to be universal. That contemporary girls don't accept it as universal. Then it's just a story about a girl who (I assume) finds happily ever after by rejecting her humanity in favor of becoming a monster just to be with a guy who literally desires to bleed her out and drink it.


Now when you apply the idea that girls think this story is about them, or is for them, or is a story of true love, it starts to get really alarming. What have all of us guys done wrong to make girls believe that someone whose humanity has died is better than us? We can't possibly be that bad. Not all of us.

Maybe we are those monsters. Maybe men desire nothing more than to devour whatever they can until nothing remains but a vampiric husk, kept alive only by feeding off of stolen blood and sparking in the sunshine or something like that.

But if we're learning things from this metaphor, don't women want that? Isn't that why the Twilight movies consistently have some of the biggest opening weekends ever?

Maybe men are the monsters because that's what women have told us to become.