This is a post I hate writing. It's a post I hate writing because it's about something that makes me angry.
It makes me angry because this is a person I've been too.
But really, people, we need to stop poking at things that other people love. It's been enough.
Let me tell you a story. I used to work in food service, the kind where the only money I'd make was from tips. And I'd see friends with better jobs, with more money and better schedules, and I'd get so jealous.
So I'd make them feel bad. Because I felt bad.
They had something I didn't have. Something I wanted.
I was jealous.
That's an ugly thing to feel, but it's an even uglier thing to see.
And along those lines, it's an even uglier thing still to admit that I know I've done. To write about it.
But right now this amazing woman I know is being made to feel bad because she's happy.
That makes me angry.
There's a couple things I want to talk about here. The first is that, if you're a person making someone else feel bad for being happy, stop it. I won't allow it. I'm not the most confrontational person in the world, but I will protect the people I love with all the strength I have.
The second thing is that, if something makes you happy, as long as it doesn't hurt someone else, that's your business and none of theirs. Now, don't try to trip me up on a technicality and say that your happiness is apparently hurting them. That's not a thing. What's hurting them is in them, not in you.
Don't let them ruin what you've found. They don't get that power. They don't get to drag you down because they can't find what they need in themselves. Their happiness is not dependent on you. At least, it shouldn't be.
You can be kind, you can be caring, you can give all you have to give, but someone else's wellness cannot come from you. Especially if that someone seems to be unhappy that you're happy.
Here's a secret, and I learned it just again a moment ago when I started to question if maybe I was the one with the bad relationship with this woman. If I was what was hurting her.
Your real friends want you to be happy. They see what makes you happy, and even if they don't have exactly that themselves, they won't try to take it from you. They won't judge you for it. They'll want to share in it with you, but not so you have less, but to give you more.
Just like you shouldn't find happiness in hurting someone else, you shouldn't hurt yourself to try to give someone else happiness.
That doesn't help either of you.