Nightmares of You

I woke up this morning with you on my mind. With the weight of you on my chest. The scent of you choking my breath. It shouldn't be this way anymore.

Sometimes I wonder if you were ever a reality at all or just a figment of my overactive imagination. Now, it's quite clear what you are. A ghost haunting the back of my subconscious. An unanswered question. Another unknown.

How there are still remnants of you after all this time I cannot answer. How you've remained with all I've managed to clean from my life is something I ask of myself every day. It feels like failure. It feels like I'm stunted.

It feels broken, that a piece of you could linger so long when I probably haven't even glanced against your unconscious mind in the time you've been gone.

Has it really been that long already? When the whole world seems to fly by while my eyes are closed, you drag on. Dead weight that I'm to carry around for my whole life or maybe longer.

I tell myself that if you were to appear, to call or to write or to run into me at some location and answer just a few questions, I'd be okay. I'd be whole again.

Even I don't know if I believe it to be true anymore. Is there any answer you could give to explain this passing time?

Is there even a question I could ask that would sate this burning in my mind?

Any question other than "Why?"