If It Hit You In The Face!

I don't want to claim to be the most observant person in the universe, but I think I'm able to recognize a good thing. And today we're going to talk a bit about good things.

To do that, of course I have to talk about some bad things.

If you've spent any time here, you know about my ex. You know about all of my exes, probably, and a hundred other things that're really nobody's business.

But you know and I know that that's what this is.

What you may not know about the ex (and I say "the" with as much emphasis as possible because she was/is the most important romantic relationship that's been a part of my life) is that before we were together, we were almost together.

That might sound a little obvious, but let me explain.

Before I finally caved, if you want to think of it that way, this beautiful, wonderful, weird woman spent years pining after to me to almost no avail. Sure I gave her some attention when it felt good for me, but I would always retreat back into myself. I was so selfish with her for so long.

And she cared for me anyway.

I didn't recognize the good thing, even when it was hitting me in the face.

Sometimes I wonder if the uncertainty I gave her all of those years caused the uncertainty I would eventually receive as the relationship we shared reached its conclusion. As if I had created in her some kind of mirror that ended up reflecting back all of that pain that I gave her for so long.

But I suppose thinking everything's my fault is just as much selfishness as thinking nothing's my fault would be.

I'm not sharing this for the point of picking old scars. The deeper any of those wounds stay buried, the better, if you ask me.

What I want to say is this - if ever something, or someone, good comes into your life, if only for the briefest of moments, don't miss it. Don't make excuses. Don't run away because you're scared it could hurt or because you find something that might go wrong some day in the future.

As someone with boxes of both to carry around, regret is a lot heavier than heartbreak.

And years later, you're going to realize that the "reasons it couldn't have been" were never reasons at all. When I put mine aside, it led to some of the truly happiest moments of my life.

So for once, if you can, get out of your own way. We get absolutely only one chance at all of this around us.

You'd be a fool to miss it.