You're never going to be the best. Ever. I thought since last time we discussed how you should want to be the best, this time it was necessary to examine the corollary that you'll just never get there.
And I promise I'm not going to be depressing. There's nothing sad about not reaching a goal that was always too lofty to attain. The dreaming's the important part.
The important fact to remember is that when you're trying to be the best, there's always going to be "better." There's no stopping that drive and it can (will) destroy you.
Accept the fact that you'll never be as good as you want to be. If you ever reach the point that you're just as good as you want to be, you'll stop trying and be irrelevant in a second. The things we most want are always just out of our reach. Come to terms with this. You'll sleep better at night.
The trick is that once you realize that you'll never make it quite to the top of that ladder, you stop caring about your position and you start climbing it anyway.
I don't write well when I'm worried about how well I'm writing. It's when I let go of the fact that people aren't buying my work that I start to write work that I could see someone wanting to buy.
Tricky, isn't it?
We have to want it, but not bad enough to let it consume us. We have to try for it by not really thinking about it. It's only when we find the balance of these two polar opposites that we start to get anywhere.
And it sucks. I know that. You'll find yourself cocky one day and ready to quit the next. There's no getting past that. Once again, if there was any certainty to it, we wouldn't be interested in the first place.
The Chinese have a curse for things like wanting to be the best at something: "May you get what you wish for." Because once you have it, what then? There's nothing left.
Instead, live in the tension. There's a certain amount of freedom there.