I Can't Write Girls

I have this problem and a lot of you may have noticed it in my scripts. Please, don't tell me if you've noticed many of my problems in my scripts. This isn't the time and you aren't my therapist. We're here for a specific purpose and I'm sure you already know what it is. I can't write girls.

There's a certain aspect of the female that I can't seem to put onto paper. I'm finding trouble even putting my real problem here into words. What is it that I can't write?

Sure, in a lot of ways, men and women are the same. We both need oxygen and food and don't want to get hurt as much as we can possibly avoid. Past that, something gets lost. There's a disconnect there.

Guys don't like to admit stuff like this. Neither do writers. Both categories like to think we have the bulk of life figured out and anything we don't know is unimportant. We've got what we need, and what you need too, so come ask us about it. That's the male attitude. It's the whole idea behind a blog too, I think.

But females still elude me. They don't seem to exist in the same world I do. I wish I could put my finger on that singular feature that keeps them apart from me, but like I said before, I can't quite grasp it.

It's not the way they look. I've got the basics down there. Or the way they move. Poets have spoken their whole lives of this. It's something much more basic than that. Something much more internal.

It's the way they think.

You see, men, we're uncomplicated. We have a few basic needs and all of our lives are spent looking to attain those. I won't get into them because even women know what they are. Women operate on some different plain. Some higher (maybe) level.

And frankly, they just don't make sense. That doesn't really help the matter either.