A Wave of Anxiety

I wish I knew what's going on with me. Since about Wednesday evening, I've had this constant sense that something is wrong or something is about to go wrong and that whatever this wrongness is, it's all my fault.

I can distract myself from it for a while, but it's always there, waiting for me to have a free moment to think. When I do, it washes over me like a wave.

I don't know what it is that's supposed to be wrong. That makes it a whole lot harder to manage. If I do a quick inventory of things, I don't know how to place my finger on the thing that's out of place.

Something's broken, I don't know what it is, and I'm not sure how to fix it.

Overall, not the best place to be.

I don't write this to get any pity or with the idea that I have any answers for any of my behavior or feelings. What I do have is the desire to get this outside of me. Maybe if I can get it out of my system somehow, it'll be better.

Of course, in my head, I'm thinking that other people are going to read this. They're going to think I'm a person complaining who has nothing to complain about.

The truth is, I've got so many things to be thankful for, and it's the season to be thankful for them.

This stresses me out even more.

And that's where I am. I'm an anxious mess for no real reason and that makes me more of an anxious mess.