I'm planning to rewrite all of over 40 pages that I wrote. I've started the planning. I'm still at the planning. I feel like I should be farther than I am by now. I already have a draft, so why is it taking so long to put out a second one?
And actually, now that I've paused to check my script files, I already have two drafts. So what's with this third?
I think the first part is how vastly different it's going to be. The first page of the first issue is going to be roughly the middle of the second issue this time. That's a lot of changing. I'm not sure I have it all straight in my head, or on paper, where things are going to go now.
There's also some fear of going back to a project, for some reason. I've spent a while away from Raise Hell working on other things. Going back, the world feels a little unfamiliar. I'm not as deep into it.
So, for now, I stare at these notebooks I'm filling (and filling so slowly) and wonder what I should be doing differently. I wonder if I'm scared to write any more of this story. I wonder if I feel guilt for not putting real script pages together. I wonder if I'm just lazy lately.
These aren't the best creative environments.
Thanks for letting me rant a little bit about this. I know it's my blog so you really have no say in the matter, but it really does help to talk things out like this. It's how I process. And it's how I come to conclusions.
Conclusions like "Yes, it's hard, but it's time to do it anyway."