90/10

There's this scene in the movie Hitch where Will Smith's character describes what it's like to have a first kiss with a woman. He tells Kevin James that what you have to do is lean in the ninety percent and let her do the rest. By leaning in that ninety, you state your intentions clearly and she'll meet you the rest of the way if she's interested. I think a lot of younger guys loved this scene and a few others in the movie because, first of all, none of us have any idea what we were doing when it comes to women. Seriously. Have you ever tried to talk to them? It's like long division with a lot of remainders. This movie finally decided to try to give us a little guide. Be yourself, be confident, be intentional about her. These are the keys to romancing Allegra Cole and by proxy, women in general.

It didn't just have vague theoretical guides though. No, this movie gave you specifics. You go ninety percent, no more, no less. They clearly had some kind of women-knowing scientist movie consultant on set who told them that, yes, ninety was the magic number and if you follow through with just that, you'll be golden.

The only problem I can see is that we let women see the same movie.

Let me explain. First, I want to say right off the bat that I have no problem with dames attending pictures shows. They're kind of my main audience since I want them to like what I write and admire me and hold my hand. That's not the problem, as I see it.

I'm not in a relationship right now, so I can't speak from my experience, but everything I hear on the streets and in the clubs says that women have settled for their ten percent a little too drastically.

Women of the world, I implore you, I entreat you, I beseech you - try. Your ten percent only works when it's a response to our ninety, not when you offer it as an expectation for us. We want to try, we love to try for you, but if all you're bringing all the time is your ten, we'll quickly realize we don't have to do as much.

Make us take you out for fancy nights out on the town. Let us show you off to our friends. And for the love of God, don't you dare settle for anything less than a genuine connection. There's so much more in our hearts than in the cell phones we hold in our hands. There are those of us who want to find that in you. Let us. Even if it's painful, it'll be better. I promise.

We need the woman in you to bring out the men in us. We're stupid creatures who sometimes need black slinky dresses and high heels to get us off the couch. We want to be men, but we need to be reminded that you require not our ten percent, but our tens. You know, as in out of ten. Be the tens we know you are and so will we. And, if you can at all, be willing to go that ninety percent yourself.