'Cause life without revision will silence our souls.
- Sleeping at Last
This is something I hate to admit, but for most of the days leading up to Christmas this year, I just haven't been feeling it. I've watched the movies and I've listened to the songs and I've stringed the lights, but I've been reaching for something I want instead of reacting to what I have. For no real reason that I can put my finger on, it's been hard for me to find the feeling of the season.
It'd be easy to tell me, of course, that Christmas isn't about what I'm feeling. I think that's an easy answer and I wouldn't argue that you're wrong, but I've always treasured the warmth that Christmas brings me. One of the best Community episodes says that Christmas is the crazy notion that the longest, coldest, darkest nights can be the warmest and brightest. I hope you won't fault me for wanting to find that.
I have every reason for it. Every reason. I have the greatest wife, the best friends, a loving family, a good job, a warm house, and the two cutest dogs on God's green (or right now, grey) earth. I have everything I could ever need and I have the nerve to ask for more.
I'm selfish. I know that I am. That doesn't seem to change too much as the years go on, but every year, for a little while, I remember I get the most joy out of bringing joy to others. I tell people I love them more. I appreciate what I have a little more. I try to give people gifts that I think they'll like.
Stagnation is death is a phrase I've heard about writing. Make your characters move and change. Christmas, if nothing else (and it is certainly more), is a reminder for me that I can change and that, often, I need to.
Let's be better people than we were just a day ago and so much better than last year. With any luck, I think we can be the people we're all meant to be.